JAKE (narration)
My name’s Jake Wood. I spent most of my life trying to be like a normal kid. But the fact I happened to be a TV star and also the lead singer of a band, meant otherwise. I decided to move away and enrolled at sixth form. That was when I met these guys.
Cut to
INT - THE DETENTION ROOM - AFTERNOON
The camera focuses with a close-up of TAYLOR’S face as he speaks to JAKE, who is sitting on the other side of the room to him. TAYLOR is sitting on top of the table.
TAYLOR (threateningly)
You see. At this college, we believe in a state of hierarchy. I am at the top. You, my friend, are at the bottom. The dirty stinking bottom. You got that?
JAKE (narration)
That’s Taylor, the head honcho as he calls himself. He delights in bullying and playing pranks on people. And then we have Valerie.
The camera moves across to VALERIE, who is sitting at a table. She has her legs on top of the table. She is listening to music on her iPod, which is playing loudly through her headphones.
JAKE (narration)
Every part of me was telling me to avoid talking to her, but I also felt drawn to her. And finally, we have Zeke Fernando, the nicest one of the bunch.
Cut to
A Previous Detention
INT - THE DETENTION ROOM - AFTERNOON
ZEKE is sitting at a table, talking to TAYLOR and VALERIE. TAYLOR is sitting on top of the table, listening to him intently.
ZEKE
We were at a house party the other night and my mate. He, erm, he had tons to drink. Like a serious amount…
JAKE (narration)
Meeting someone like him made me question why he ended up in detention in the first place.
Cut to
The Present Detention
INT - THE DETENTION ROOM - AFTERNOON
VALERIE takes the headphones out of her ears. She turns and faces JAKE.
VALERIE
So you’re an actor? What’s it like being famous?
TAYLOR
He can’t be that famous if I’ve never heard of him. Even if he was, which I’m sure he ain’t, he wouldn’t be here in detention, would he?
VALERIE
Yeah. Why are you here?
JAKE doesn’t answer them.
VALERIE (impatiently)
Well?
The door suddenly opens. SETH walks inside the room. He is arguing with TEACHER 1.
TEACHER 1 (furiously)
I’ve had it up to here with your lies! For the last time, no one has been following you. Not even this apparent spy!
SETH
If you’d just let me explain.
TEACHER 1
No.
TEACHER 1 slams the door shut. SETH turns to face the others.
SETH
Oh, hi.
Fade Out
After reading through Mike's script for the web series, I think it is a lot simpler than the idea we all previously had as a class, although it does not feature a lot of comedy - we could perhaps add a little comedy into it but other than this I really like the fact it is kept simple and is relating to the core product. The other idea contained a lot of humour references and references to films which I had never seen before so found this hard to understand and too complicated. I think the characters are different from the ones we had before and therefore should be fine, the location is the same - in a detention room with some flashbacks, and the genre and target audience is the same also.
As I have explained after watching the 'Prom Queen' web series, comedy is not a necessity for web series, as a drama can be just as effective if given the same publication. I think that Mikes script is generally very good with detail and therefore should be easy to storyboard. However the first episode script could be a little longer, and the characters could have a little more introduction. Nonetheless we will work on script changes as soon as possible after Mike has received feedback from each member of the group.
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